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Years ago when I surrendered to write for God, I experienced some success. I won awards. Made the best seller list. Finaled in contests. Then came a time when the writing contracts slowed. At first I understood. Life had become complicated. Perhaps I needed down time, or the chance to deepen my faith and truly seek what God wanted. But, as time went on I faced discouragement as many other writers do.

Photo by Maddox

Photo by Maddox

With the rise in popularity of Facebook and other social media, others’ successes are posted every day. Some of the stories I’ve heard add to the frustration. I want to rejoice with all those authors, many who are friends. And I do. But some small part of me wonders–what’s wrong with me?

Have you ever heard testimonies similar to these?

I decided to write and had more than twenty contracts within…

I went to a writer’s conference with a few handwritten pages and received a contract within two weeks.

Talking to an editor on the phone, I gave them a brief sketch of the story line and they sent a contract.

Within an hour of sending in the proposal, I had a contract.

Although those are fictional, they are based on accounts I’ve heard over the years. I want to “rejoice with those who rejoice.”(Romans 12:15) Truly I do. But, in truth, sometimes it’s been hard. At the same time I’m happy for the other writer I’m questioning my own worthiness. Did I do something wrong and now God can’t use me? Is there something I’m supposed to learn, but I’m too dense to grasp His lesson? Often I’ve cried out, “God, what do You want me to do?”

Photo by Hirekutsu

Photo by Hirekutsu

God taught me much through the story of Peter walking with Jesus on the beach. Jesus asks Peter to feed His sheep, tells Peter what will happen when he is old then instructs Peter to, “Follow Me.” (Jn. 21:19)Peter looks back at the “disciple whom Jesus loved,” and says, “But Lord, what about this man?”

Jesus answered, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.” (Jn. 21:21-22)

As I read those words, it hit me that I am a lot like Peter. I tend to take my eyes off of Jesus to look at those around me who have a similar calling. I shouldn’t be concerned with what Jesus is doing in their lives, but only following my calling. As long as I keep my eyes on Jesus, and trust him to guide me daily, I can “rejoice with those who rejoice” without facing disappointment in my life.

Whether I publish one hundred more books, or never see publication again doesn’t matter. I can rest assured because His plans for me are perfect and that is enough for me.

Nancy J FarriarNancy J. Farrier has been the coordinator for FHL’s IRCA for fourteen years. She is an award winning author who lives in Southern California in the Mojave Desert. She loves the Southwest and interesting historical past. Nancy and her husband have five children. When Nancy isn’t writing, she loves to read, do needlecraft, play with her cats, and spend time with her family. Nancy is represented by Karen Ball of The Steve Laube Literary Agency. You can read more about Nancy and her books on her web site.


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  1. janekirkpatrick says:

    Well-written, Nancy! There are lots of “Peters” out there (Me included!) who are warmed by your words. Thanks for sharing them.

  2. Nancy Farrier says:

    Thank you, Jane. I am like Peter way too often..

  3. Great post, Nancy. I think there are times when we all feel that way…I know I do.

  4. I can so relate to this post, Nancy. Thank you for sharing your heart felt words with all of us.

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